Why do we prefer to ignore or walk away? I wrote this a week ago but something was holding me back from posting it. As much as I want to sound all positive and look at the bright side, I can’t get these questions out of my head. When a child is molested, it is not the kid’s fault but the consequence of being in a hypocritical society, in which people can get away with such acts. I would call the parents irresponsible, not because the kid was put in that situation (we don’t live in a bubble!!) but for not teaching him/her how to handle it. And the first instinct is to cover it up, why is it so? This could happen to anyone, it is not their fault, like we try to put it. But still why is the victim being blamed??
The predators think their actions are justified as long as they can come up with an explanation. When a girl is raped, the assaulter claims that it was her outfit that made him do it or it was her being alone at night. Can anyone ever think for a minute that this makes sense? The other day I saw an interview, a nun who spoke up about her experiences and why she decided to leave the convent. It is everywhere, children are just easy targets as they are made to believe that their family will be killed or hurt if they told anyone.
The day a girl blooms into a woman (when she gets her period) is supposed to be a joyous one. Not the one where she gets a list of things she cannot do anymore. Why are things being misinterpreted, like a saying in Malayalam “Ela vannu mullil veenalum, mullu vannu elayil veenalum ,elakku anu kedu” why is the woman referred to as the leaf? Is there any teaching in Malayalam that tells a woman the right way to deal with it,why is she being cautioned? And if she is the” ela”, why is she not treated with utmost sensitivity? We expect that women can relate to such situations better, being one, but there are some who prove otherwise. When your friend came to you not knowing what to do, did you stand by her? Which one are you, the lucky ones who escaped all this or the ones just trying to block out the bad memories by pretending it never happened or the ones who saw it happen but did nothing??
We tend to avoid such topics coz they are not so pleasant, not talking about it doesn’t mean it is not happening around you. If you gave it a little thought you would know how to help someone. Misconceptions and ignorance are factors that play a key role, don’t live in a well and take a look at the ocean around you.
Yes.. a lot of misconceptions have to be changed. We are so conditioned to believe keeping quiet is the best solution..
ReplyDeleteI think it's kind of escapism .It was always (and is) a male chauvinistic world, whatever we say !Still I repent for not having enough guts to say something to the person who "advised" a 6 year old kid (& also her parents) that she is not supposed to scream since she is a girl !!
ReplyDeleteI remember that saying.
ReplyDeleteAnd it was recited to me non other than a relative, cautioning me about my daughter going out with her fiancee.
The irony of it was that his daughter had a lot of tears to shed because he did not give the same "freedom" to her before the marriage.