24 May 2009

Loving life and not pretending to

Every day, each prayer has bestowed something new on me. It would either be a realization that my assumptions were wrong or having to change a habit or a belief. Life has been a tough school and experiences hard lessons. Kept going thinking that I have to get what I wanted, that was my goal. But nothing seemed to work. Gave it everything to achieve what I thought was my dream. It took years before I realized that I should consider an alternative.It was upsetting to see my life going downhill, nothing like I pictured it to be. There is no other explanation other than this is what my life was planned to be.

He had designed my life in a way that at each stage (when I wasn’t paying attention), He was molding me for my future. I did not see it as long as I was living my life, my way. I had to shut my eyes to stop looking at the world and ask Him. I fought my discontentment for years, finally he showed me the person whom He had created with a Divine Discontent. To see through His eyes and serve .While I focused on having a normal and simple life, he had bigger plans. It is a slow process of evolving into the person whom God wants you to be. It is not difficult to understand His ways but hard to do. Being a mom taught me how to be selfless, to put another person before me. The lessons from life, not from a book or a tale once told. There are days I feel good and days that I fail .The inner voice that I hear is the God within me, reassuring me not to give up.

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