Mom, my best friend

I was really relieved to read a recent article in the magazine “Vanitha” (April 15-30, 2009). There have been so many instances I felt it was just an advertiser of the latest and the greatest saris and gold jewelry. It was disappointing that a magazine so popular, was not quite doing its part.

Finally, it looks like Malayalees are ready to look at a different style of parenting .It is not the” Hitler regime pattern" anymore,where the mom made dad look like the bad cop!!! Things have changed and it must be because of all the problems our young generation has been getting into, that have raised a red flag. It must be tough for those who believe “it is my way or the high way “, but they are cornered with no other option, but to try something new.

Parenting goes beyond providing the basic necessities of life as I have emphasized in my previous posts. Do we fear that we will lose our culture and its essence if we adapt a little?

The previous generation had it rough for sure; they went through a financial crunch, so when they became parents they were busy making money so we would have a better life. That left kids with unfulfilled emotional needs.

I believe if kids are given proper guidance, acceptance and attention there is a lesser chance that they will look for it elsewhere. If parents were less critical and more supportive it would be easier for the kids to trust them with their problems.

The first step would be to treat your son and daughter equal. And teach your sons to respect and treat women right. Parenting is an art you master each day, it is something that has to be done with compassion and not comparison!!!! The education a kid gets in school only leads to a job but what they learn at home is how they live their life.

Teenage is a very tricky time in one’s life, it is just normal to want to do crazy things; the best thing is to let them in on the consequences. Every daughter should know her mother’s story; her accomplishments, failures, dreams, and regrets.
It is inevitable not to have a crush or feel attracted to someone with all those hormones going haywire. All you need is to tell your kid that it is perfectly normal and how to focus on life. Help them set goals, research and discuss their ambitions. It may not always work out the way planned, get them ready for disappointments too.

Girls should be told over and over again that they do not need to starve themselves and dress like the celebrities on television, but be themselves. They are unique and full of potential whatever the world may say. Our girls should be taught to be bold and confident, to say NO when it is needed and to deal with the hypocritical society.