For his 4th birthday, Jacob wanted to take cup cakes to school. I decided to go with him and take a few pictures . His teacher was extremely nice and asked me to stay with him for the entire day!!! (I was quite surprised since I am used to our teachers back home, who for some reason leave their emotions at home). A bit hesitant, I went and sat next to Jacob in his classroom. I told him I was going to stay with him . His face lit up and he dragged his chair closer to me .
I didn't know what to do but smile at the children who were watching my every move. Soon a little girl came up to me, she asked if I were Jacob’s mom. I looked up and they were all waiting to hear me reply. I said yes, and I was no longer an outsider. We sat on the floor during circle time , everyone wanted to sit next to me!!! One little boy didn’t want to get into this argument , he found the perfect spot, he sat on my lap!!! We sang songs, the teacher told a story, then we had cup cakes and milk. A little girl hugged me; I looked at the teacher not knowing what to do. When the teacher smiled I felt it was alright to hug her back.
I felt really special, it felt like I was in heaven with a bunch of angels . Every touch, hug and smile made me forget the world outside. I decided to write about this day and how I felt without delay, because every time I am sad it lingers in my mind (forever), and I don't cherish these moments of joy .
24 November 2009
17 November 2009
Relationships
Thank you to all my wonderful friends and my cousins for sending in their views on the topic.This post is dedicated to all of you and my two brothers. I was trying to find out if sibilings made one's life better.
I do love my siblings and of course I have great childhood memories. But a few years into marriage,my parents/ siblings were no longer my #1 priority.I felt guilty about it and I remember my mother saying "thatz life ". It is a strange aspect of life and how we automatically fit into its mold.
It led me to wonder why people have kids? The prominent response to that question was that they want someone to be there in their old age. When you have invested so much of your time/money on kids, its just fair to get something in return. When you have many kids , one of them might stick around and of course the idea of an inheritance would lure them in!!! In another 40yrs, I'd like to picture myself on a beach rather than being hauled around on a wheel chair. Right now my focus is on enjoying every minute with my son .
A woman puts her life on hold (at least for a brief period of time) to raise a kid. Not to mention the physical toll it takes on her, those nine months and the postpartum depression (some of us don't even realise that we experienced it). Sleepless nights, stinky diapers, potty training days, cleaning up every time they puke (all that fun stuff!!!), its taken so naturally (as an act of love) by women since thatz how nature (or should I say society) has programmed us. Many mothers quit their jobs, to take care of kids until they are not needed 24/7 . Are we expecting something in return???
All my friends related to this topic from their personal experiences. My friend who is a single child thinks her life would have been better if she had siblings. Others who have siblings, generously shared the stories about how they bonded & kept secrets. Even though there are issues, we tend to over look them. I have heard that being a single child makes one selfish and unsocial (which I disagree, it is just who you are). And if so, there must be an alternative to fix that, than birthing another kid .It reminds me of how oldies thought, to straighten up an addict or someone who is mentally ill, all you gotta do is get them married!!
For a woman, marriage is a transition where you leave behind everything you once thought was yours to accept new. It is not an easy task but it helps when you have friends who are in the same boat. I am sure my brothers have buddies who know them better than me. Unless we open up to the idea of building new relationships and treasuring them, are we passing on something new to the next generation??
Some funny but interesting thoughts, reason to have a daughter is so that she will sit near you and cry when you are dead (think about a typical Mallu funeral!!). And the reason you gotta have a son is, to carry on the family name. ( Reminds me of this dialogue from a Malayalam movie " Pinney, anniyam ninnu pokan neeyentha Simhavaalan kurengho"!!! )
When a child is born, parents have to focus on the newborn. Putting aside dreams and may never find the time to get to it. A big family gathering, is a pleasant sight, everyone looks happy and in love with each other, but with time the jealousy and hypocrisy behind those big smiles are obvious. With friends the relationship is much more simpler. Is it because we get to choose our friends?? When I say friends, I mean people who care enough to correct you when you are wrong and stand with you despite all odds!!
Kids are wonderful, have a bunch of them if your health & wallet permits. Don't forget to live your dreams. Because yours kids don't owe you for what you have done. It was your choice, let them make theirs.
Since life doesn't come with instructions to do it right (one, multiple or no kids), we have to wait for it to unfold. There are no guarantees that you will be pleased with the results..Learn from the eagle who nurtures and then pushes the young ones out of the nest forcing them to learn to fly. It may sound cruel, but it will get them ready for life.
I do love my siblings and of course I have great childhood memories. But a few years into marriage,my parents/ siblings were no longer my #1 priority.I felt guilty about it and I remember my mother saying "thatz life ". It is a strange aspect of life and how we automatically fit into its mold.
It led me to wonder why people have kids? The prominent response to that question was that they want someone to be there in their old age. When you have invested so much of your time/money on kids, its just fair to get something in return. When you have many kids , one of them might stick around and of course the idea of an inheritance would lure them in!!! In another 40yrs, I'd like to picture myself on a beach rather than being hauled around on a wheel chair. Right now my focus is on enjoying every minute with my son .
A woman puts her life on hold (at least for a brief period of time) to raise a kid. Not to mention the physical toll it takes on her, those nine months and the postpartum depression (some of us don't even realise that we experienced it). Sleepless nights, stinky diapers, potty training days, cleaning up every time they puke (all that fun stuff!!!), its taken so naturally (as an act of love) by women since thatz how nature (or should I say society) has programmed us. Many mothers quit their jobs, to take care of kids until they are not needed 24/7 . Are we expecting something in return???
All my friends related to this topic from their personal experiences. My friend who is a single child thinks her life would have been better if she had siblings. Others who have siblings, generously shared the stories about how they bonded & kept secrets. Even though there are issues, we tend to over look them. I have heard that being a single child makes one selfish and unsocial (which I disagree, it is just who you are). And if so, there must be an alternative to fix that, than birthing another kid .It reminds me of how oldies thought, to straighten up an addict or someone who is mentally ill, all you gotta do is get them married!!
For a woman, marriage is a transition where you leave behind everything you once thought was yours to accept new. It is not an easy task but it helps when you have friends who are in the same boat. I am sure my brothers have buddies who know them better than me. Unless we open up to the idea of building new relationships and treasuring them, are we passing on something new to the next generation??
Some funny but interesting thoughts, reason to have a daughter is so that she will sit near you and cry when you are dead (think about a typical Mallu funeral!!). And the reason you gotta have a son is, to carry on the family name. ( Reminds me of this dialogue from a Malayalam movie " Pinney, anniyam ninnu pokan neeyentha Simhavaalan kurengho"!!! )
When a child is born, parents have to focus on the newborn. Putting aside dreams and may never find the time to get to it. A big family gathering, is a pleasant sight, everyone looks happy and in love with each other, but with time the jealousy and hypocrisy behind those big smiles are obvious. With friends the relationship is much more simpler. Is it because we get to choose our friends?? When I say friends, I mean people who care enough to correct you when you are wrong and stand with you despite all odds!!
Kids are wonderful, have a bunch of them if your health & wallet permits. Don't forget to live your dreams. Because yours kids don't owe you for what you have done. It was your choice, let them make theirs.
Since life doesn't come with instructions to do it right (one, multiple or no kids), we have to wait for it to unfold. There are no guarantees that you will be pleased with the results..Learn from the eagle who nurtures and then pushes the young ones out of the nest forcing them to learn to fly. It may sound cruel, but it will get them ready for life.
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